Growing up in a single-parent household can have a way of impacting someone’s identity. As I look back at the person I once was during my teenage years and early twenties, I identified as someone who had “daddy issues”. This basically meant that there were things I sought out, gravitated to, or depended on because of my father’s absence. Having overcome that season of my life and now being a single mom, I am aware of the importance of teaching my daughter her identity. As parents, it is our duty to help our children discover who God says they are and who He created them to be.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations."
Jeremiah 1:5One thing that is imperative for children to understand is that God was the one that created them and chose them. This is despite the actions parents take in physically creating the child. Knowing that out of all of the options God could have chosen he chose them for this era and for His glory can help children see how important they are to God. As their parents, we can help them see this importance by speaking life into them using affirmations and God’s word.
But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
1 Peter 2:9
Affirming who God says our children are leads to them being confident adults. The result of a confident adult is standing firm in who you are as a person. A confident adult walks for and with Christ which in turn leads to the fulfillment of the purpose you were created for. Knowing who God says you are is what will get you through life. Knowing who you are is the truth that a person can hold on to through their journey in life.
Lastly, another important thing children need to know is that their relationship with their absent parent is not an indicator of their self-worth. One thing I always tell my daughter when she asks to call her dad after not hearing from him in a while is “If a person wants to be in your life they will make an effort to reach out and be present.” I tell her this because I want her to know that as it says in Proverbs 3:15 “She is more precious than rubies.” Because of this she has a standard and should not have to beg for attention.
Children knowing who they are leads to being rooted in who they are which in turn helps them determine who and what to accept in their lives. Having an understanding of their identity in Christ sets the course for their lives. As a result, they will not seek or try to identify with anything that God did not call them to be.